Okay, I’ll Share My Super Secret, Posh Living Backyard Plans Which May Involve Koi’s

by on Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

When it comes to luxury in the outdoors, building a pool is totally not a possibility for me. Neither is a gazebo, a bridge, or a koi pond (see, the bride would go OVER the koi pond!). But my parents have a very nice backyard that I like to hang out in. But I hate all of the bugs that crawl up on you when you’re on the grass. Shopdog doesn’t even like the grass that much, she hops up in one of the sturdy patio chairs. (And she’s weird, she likes to be out there with a leash, but not on the leader. Then she just barks and wants to go inside.) So, something I think would be awesome is an outdoor chaise lounge.

My aunt had a couple at her lake house, and there was nothing I loved more than waking up, eating eggs, and gathering my stuff to go lay out on the chaise lounge while listening to my CD player (I remember listening to a lot of two very different albums: Sarah McLachlan – Surfacing, Britney Spears – …Baby One More Time. I’m a complex individual!) and feeling very posh. Laying out in the sun is not something I’ve ever done too actively – I’ve never wanted to be super tan, or tolerated laying out for too long (I get bored and itchy). This works in my favor now that we know how serious suntans can be in terms of leading to skin cancer. However, I know that because I have depression it’s super important for me to get at least 20 minutes of constant sun exposure a day. Which leads me back to my chaise lounge idea.

patio chaise lounge chairs

Strathwood Balboa Deep Seat Chaise with Cushion $269.

Who owns this? A rich single girl in L.A. who wants to be Heidi Montag might like this one. I am drawn to it too, simply because it looks comfy. (I want to siiiink down into it.)

best chaise lounge

White Adirondack Chair with Retractable Ottoman $71.

Who owns this? An elderly couple that lives in Maine and has a sailboat. On Sunday mornings they do a crossword puzzle together and make crepes for their grandchildren.

folding chaise lounge

Do it Best Folding Sling Lounge (Pack of 2) $119.

Who owns this? Your jerk ex-boyfriend. Only he didn’t buy his, he stole them from someone at the beach or took them from his parents place when his parents decided to buy a more decent pair. This are good only if you plan to take them to the beach often.

double chaises

Home Madaga Wicker Double Chaise $449.

Who owns this? The codependent couple whose wife likes to go to those paint your own pottery places. (I’ve been to one once, the experience was very stressful!)

pool chaise lounge

The Royal Hawaiian Adjustable Chaise Lounge $199.

Who owns this? People rich enough to own their own pools, and also totally indulge in being so lazy that they need armrests to hold their margarita. In short: I hate everyone who has one! Kidding, kidding.  But can I come over?

baxton chaise

Baxton Studios Chaise $431.

Who owns this? Someone with modern taste who thinks that even if something looks uncomfortable, it’s bound to be worth the price.

I will have an outdoor chaise lounge, someday! Probably wrought iron, with a fluffy cushion. And I want a porch, and a swing in the porch like how I grew up. And lots of trees. And birdhouses. And specifically a crab apple tree. And shells in the garden. Oh, and a garden – duh. And a bird bath, maybe a sundial…

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